My Blog List

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Academy bans moving backwards

An academy in Luton has banned students and staff from moving backwards. The Forward! Academy (FA) says that the move is a logical step in making its motto ‘Progress forward together as individuals’ a reality.

Karl Harris, Principal at the Forward! Academy, explains ‘We do not tolerate our students going backwards in their learning, so why would we tolerate them going backwards in any other way?’

If individuals leave a room and then realise they have forgotten something, the rules forbid them from going ‘back’ for it. Instead, the individual should walk all the way around the school until they approach the room from a different direction, thus preventing any episode of moving backwards.

‘It can be tough,’ says Katy Hoang, 13. ‘The other day someone came towards me really quickly carrying their dinner tray. I had to push myself against the wall to avoid a collision.’

Physical Education at the Forward! Academy has been adapted to accommodate the change. ‘We no longer offer rowing, high jump or any other sport in which the competitor is required to move in a backwards direction,’ says Head of PE Sandy Hargreaves.  ‘To be honest, I think we will probably be left with running.’

The Forward! Academy has a simple philosophy.


  1. Oh...bit political, bit political. Surely you mean to have the arrow going upwards (damn, this box won't accept images)?
    There is a line between satire and propaganda. I think. At least there used to be.

  2. Well, an upward arrow would be Upwards! wouldn't it? The arrow pointing to the right usually means forward (doesn't it?).

    Whether you mean the political bit seriously or not, why would it be political? This kind of nonsense is (and has been) promulgated by idiots of all political persuasions.

    And propaganda? Er, why? Satire is about taking the mickey. Propaganda is a systematic attempt to change opinions, usually done by state agencies (with or without taking the mickey).